Depression has its peaks and valleys.
Therapy has its peaks and valleys but going through that process gives you greater peaks and lower valleys. Currently I’m going through that process and the valleys are getting deeper and deeper. It’s getting harder and harder to climb out of. It’s causing ideations to stick around longer. Before I was able to push them away but now they are becoming more vivid and becoming harder to control.
This was my fear, that the thing that’s helping me will send me over the edge. I talk to my therapist, my doctors, my wife, my friends but I feel alone. I feel scared and hopeless.
The peaks that I felt seemed fake and the valleys seem like reality. Harder to differentiate the cognitive distortions.
All I can do is go to sleep and hope for a better tomorrow. Maybe a med will finally kick in. Maybe I can climb out but for right now I lay in a valley of hopelessness.
Enough about me, how are you feeling?